Excited to talk about puberty with your son? Probably not, but it’s important to do and should be an ongoing conversation. Use this information to help guide your discussions.
WHEN DOES PUBERTY START IN BOYS?
Just as with puberty in girls, we are seeing puberty start in boys at younger ages. The average age for puberty to begin in boys is 10 to 11. It can start as young as age 9 and as old as age 13.
HOW LONG DOES PUBERTY LAST IN BOYS?
Puberty in boys generally lasts about 2-5 years.
Puberty typically follows this path in boys:
- Testicles and penis start to grow larger
- Pubic hair begins to grow
- Growth spurt: getting taller, building more muscle
- Voice changes
- Facial hair and underarm hair start to grow
CONVERSATION STARTERS
A good time to start having conversations about the changes that happen during puberty is when your son is around age 9-10.
A good way to start conversations is to use the changes that naturally happen. Take note of these changes and use them to spark conversations.
| When this happens: | Use it as an opportunity to discuss these topics: |
| Your son needs to start using deodorant or antiperspirant. | Body odor, personal hygiene. This can be a gentle opener that both boys and girls go through physical changes and he will be seeing other changes in his body soon. |
| He starts to grow body hair. | Why people have body hair, shaving. |
| He has a growth spurt. | People grow at different rates. Growth spurts in boys tend to start about two years after girls and last about 2-3 years after girls. |
| His voice starts to change, deepen or “crack.” | This is a normal part of puberty. His larynx (voice box) is growing larger and thicker. |
| An older sibling is going through puberty. | This is a stage in life that everyone experiences, all kids develop at their own pace, changes that boys go through. |
| Your son is moody—crabby, talking back, stubborn, grumpy. | Hormones, physical and emotional changes. Moodiness is part of growing; it’s normal to have up days and down days. |
| He begins to get acne. | Personal hygiene, caring for his skin. |
| Your child’s vaccine schedule includes the recommendation for the HPV vaccine. | Disease (cancer) prevention, intimate relationships, and sexually transmitted diseases. |
| He comes home with a rumor he heard at school. So-and-so said you get pregnant by taking a pill. | Straighten out fact from fiction so he gets the right information. |
Some boys will be less likely to bring up the following topics related to puberty, but they are also important to talk about. It’s OK if these seem like one-sided conversations; your child may still be listening to you even if they act like they’re not.
- Nocturnal emissions – This involuntary ejaculation during sleep is a normal part of development that your son should be aware of. While nocturnal emissions are often called “wet dreams,” they may not ever be associated with a dream at all.
- Erections – Boys begin to experience erections during puberty, and they can happen often and spontaneously. Normalize this as a standard part of growing up. This is also an opportunity for parents to discuss why boys have erections, intimate relationships, sexual health, and consent.
- Enlargement in the breasts – Called gynecomastia, this is an imbalance of hormones that can be a sign of puberty. About 1/3 of boys will experience gynecomastia. It tends to get better over time and will usually resolve in about 12 to 18 months.
PUBERTY TALKING TIPS
Tailor these talks based on your son’s maturity level. Here are some things to keep in mind as you have conversations with your son:
- Normalize these experiences. Emphasize that everyone goes through these changes. The more you talk about it, the more normal it will feel to have these conversations.
- Use the signs of puberty you see as ways to start the conversation. “I’ve noticed your voice is getting deeper. How are you feeling about that?” or “I’ve noticed you’ve got some acne. Is that bothering you?” That allows your child the opportunity to share what they’ve been feeling. Or, they may change the subject if they’re not ready to talk about it, and that’s OK.
- Encourage your son to come to you with questions. Let them know that you are a trusted source for information (more so than the school playground!). Make sure they know that you’ll have answers they can rely on or will find a trustworthy answer if you don’t have one.
- Don’t be embarrassed. Or at least don’t show your embarrassment. It’s OK if you need to be embarrassed alone, but be confident when you’re talking to your child. It will help them feel they can trust you.
WHEN TO CONSIDER A VISIT TO ADOLESCENT MEDICINE
Most concerns for boys during puberty can be taken care of in a visit to your pediatrician. Some teen boys will visit our Division of Adolescent and Young Adult Medicine for:
- Delayed puberty – if your son is not showing signs of puberty starting by ages 13-14; also sometimes managed by an endocrinologist
- Acne – also sometimes managed by a dermatologist
- Gynecomastia – lasting longer than 18 months
- Sexual health concerns – such as for questions around safe sexual practices and sexually transmitted infection (STI) testing
I’m sure you remember from your own adolescence that puberty can be hard to go through. You can help make it easier on your child by empowering them with knowledge so they know why their bodies are going through these changes.
If you have questions or would like to request an appointment, please contact our Division of Adolescent and Young Adult Medicine.
Great information , I have 2 adult sons and a large family of males , this information would have been helpful when they were younger. Thank you for sharing,