When a child in the family is sick and needs to be in the hospital, the priority naturally turns to them. When that happens, siblings might feel overlooked or forgotten.
The entire family is impacted when a child has a hospital stay. Your kids at home still need to carry on, and that is harder for some kids to do than others.
In my role as a child life specialist at Cincinnati Children’s, a big part of what I do is support the siblings of kids in the hospital. We work to help them maintain their role as a child and stay connected with their sibling and the adults who are at the hospital.
We know having a family member in the hospital is hard and that parents are doing their best to keep it together. We value the opportunity to help siblings of our patients.
WHEN SIBLINGS OF A HOSPITALIZED CHILD MIGHT NEED SUPPORT
Here are several instances where siblings of kids in the hospital might need some extra support and how child life specialists help address these needs.
If you have a child who is struggling with feelings like the ones described below, reach out to the child life specialist on your care team.
Your child might benefit from the support of a child life specialist if:
They’re Concerned For Their Sibling
Often kids have no idea what to expect when visiting the hospital. It can be overwhelming to see a brother or sister with tubes attached to them, hooked up to beeping machines. Sometimes a hospital gown can be frightening to a sibling.
How Child Life Can Help: We know how to help normalize what the patient is experiencing and what the sibling will see. Being prepared goes a long way toward helping the sibling feel empowered about what to expect and how to act once in their sibling’s room.
They’re Nervous Visiting Hospital
Hospitals can be big, busy and loud. It is totally normal for children to be scared to visit.
How Child Life Can Help: We’ll work with your child to help them feel welcome and safe. I’ve seen it happen many times where a sibling comes in quiet and scared, and after working with them, they are skipping down the hall to the playroom and calling the nurses by name.
They’re Feeling Lonely
There are so many emotions involved when your sibling is in the hospital. Loneliness is often one of them.
How Child Life Can Help: We talk and play with the siblings at their level and give them lots of attention. Without saying these exact words, we get across the message of, “I see you, I’m in your corner. Yes, I’m here for your sibling, but I’m here to help you too.”
They Feel Disconnected From Their Sibling
When a child is used to having their sibling around all the time, being separated can be difficult. Your child at home may be missing their playmate or might just miss having their sibling to talk to.
How Child Life Can Help: We introduce activities that siblings can do both here at the hospital and at home. This can include playing a game together from a hospital bed, or sending home a craft, coloring page or activity if your child can’t physically visit their sibling.
They Don’t Know How To Answer Questions About Their Sibling
Siblings of hospitalized kids often get questions like, “How’s your brother doing?” or “Is your sister OK?” from other kids and adults too.
How Child Life Can Help: We teach them how to answer those questions, giving them responses to use such as, “I’d rather not talk about that right now,” or “You’ll have to ask my parents.” This allows them to set boundaries and maintain their role as a child.
You Are Feeling Overwhelmed
We know parents and caregivers are pulled in many directions when they have a child in the hospital. When we help support the siblings at home, it can ease a bit of pressure for the parents.
How Child Life Can Help: We can provide support such as throwing a sibling birthday party in the hospital for the family, arranging a visit in our Family Pet Center, or mailing notes from the parents to the children at home.
When you’re reassured that your other family members are receiving attention and having their needs met, we hope it will have a positive effect on the number of stressful things you’re juggling as a parent. Siblings of patients have a place here too, and we want them to know that they are seen, heard and valued during this difficult time.
