Let’s face it. We’re all stressed, and our teenagers are no exception. They have higher expectations to perform better in school, excel in extracurricular activities and community service, and respond to social media. It’s no surprise that teen stress levels often rival those of adults.
So how can parents help their teens manage it? Here are a few techniques I suggest to my patients that parents and caregivers might find helpful:
1. Help teens determine what’s within their control and what isn’t
When encountering stressful situations and decisions, I encourage teens to ask themselves, “Can I control or change this situation?”
- If yes, have them use problem-solving techniques to work through it.
- If no, ask “Can someone else can control or change the situation?”
- If yes, consider the pros and cons of communicating with that person. This increases the possibility of being heard and change happening.
- If no, figure out how to be okay anyway, by using coping methods.
2. Suggest ways to get the basics back in place
If your teen has been stressed for a long period, they have likely developed some poor lifestyle habits. Help them incorporate the following into their everyday routines, which will help their bodies handle stress more effectively:
- Having a consistent bedtime and routine. It helps to maintain the same sleep routine (for the most part) on the weekends, too.
- Avoiding screen time an hour before bed.
- Eating regular, healthy meals throughout the day. Exercising consistently, but not too close to bedtime.
- Incorporating relaxation and mindfulness into daily routines.
3. Brainstorm regular, stress-relieving distractions
Help your teen figure out how they can incorporate fun, stress-relieving activities into their day, week, and month. Do they like playing instruments or listening to music? Shooting hoops in the backyard? Art activities? The message here is that no matter what it is or how briefly they do it, enjoyable activities provide a fantastic distraction for the brain, which can relieve stress.
4. Learn relaxation techniques to use during stressful moments
Relaxation looks a little different for everyone. Some teens find it relaxing to sit and pet their dog for a few minutes with no other distractions. Others might like to try closing their eyes, taking deep breaths, and sitting in silence. Prayer or a walk alone can be helpful. It might take a little trial and error, but having the ability to relax in the middle of stressful moments will serve teens well now and later in life.
5. Set limits for social media
Teens are messaged and tagged day and night. Help them set social media limits by establishing “social media free” hour(s). If they set these expectations up front, their friends shouldn’t be surprised when they don’t get a response. Many teens initially shudder at the thought, but later report feeling emotionally “free” when unplugging.
RESOURCE: The American Academy of Pediatrics’ Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health provides a wealth of information, including the suggestion to turn off social media at bedtime so that it does not disrupt sleep.
6. Teach your teen to practice “calm self-talk”
Help your teen become aware of stressful thoughts and practice rationalizing them. For instance, when they’re running late to an activity and feeling stressed out about it, have them ask what will happen if they arrive a few minutes after the start time? Most likely nothing catastrophic.
7. Join your teen’s stress management efforts!
Whether they like to admit it or not, teens are still learning from their parents. One of the best ways to teach stress management techniques is by setting a good example. Join your teen in creating healthy lifestyle habits around sleep, eating, physical activity and relaxation. It will help both of you!
8. Find a balance
Stress plays an important role in our lives, but we need it to be balanced. If your teen is feeling little to no stress, they may be bored and have little motivation. Feeling too much stress can impact:
- Sleep: trouble falling asleep, sleeping too much or too little.
- Diet: eating too much or too little.
- Concentration.
- Performance: academically or physically (e.g. “freezing up” while taking a test).
- Emotions: irritability, inability to manage emotions, increase in anxiety or depression.
- Physical symptoms: headaches, stomachaches, and even cardiac problems for those experiencing chronic stress.
HELPFUL TIP: We teach our patients the ACE method to balance Achievement, Connection, and Enjoyment. Having a healthy dose of all three helps maintain a sense of well-being. Get more resources on their website.
Seeking Help
So how do you know when to seek help for your teen? If your teen is struggling to manage stress despite trying some of these techniques, or it is impacting daily functioning, consider speaking to a doctor about it. The doctor may recommend scheduling an appointment with a mental health therapist for further assessment and/or therapy for stress-management skills. For most teens experiencing high levels of stress, therapy is highly effective.
Cincinnati Children’s has mental health resources to help your teen. Visit the Mental and Behavioral Health Institute or call the Division of Behavioral Medicine and Clinical Psychology at 513-636-4336 .
This is such a timely and beneficial article! I love how “7 Ways Parents Can Help Their Teens Manage Stress” balances empathy with action, reminding us that teen life is complex, and that what they need most is often space + support, not perfection. The tips, listening without judgment, modeling calm, preserving routines, and building connection, aren’t flashy, but they carry weight. Thank you for giving parents practical tools and permission to walk alongside their teens in love, not panic.